Scampi and Chips

OMG! I lost piece of scampi!!!!

The incident happened on Friday whilst enjoying the Caddy Shack’s excellent serving of Scampi and Chips. Whilst trying to secure a piece of Scampi by stabbing it with my fork, the crispy breadcrumb coating was perhaps a little more crispy than I expected and the pressure I applied literally caused the Scampi to shoot forth from my plate!

As I watched it fly through the air, time seemed to slow to a crawl as the Scampi arced beyond my reach. I flailed helplessly trying to catch it, but it crashed heavily to the dusty floor and as it slid further from reach under the seating, I saw my whole live flash in front of me.

As I sat there trying to take in what had just occurred, literally shaking my head, fighting back the tears that had begun to well inside of me due to my severe loss, my focus returned to my plate. Slowly the realisation began to dawn upon me that I still had one priceless crispy golden nugget of scampi left.

Reconstruction of what my plate might have looked like had I had no Scampi left...

“Thank God!” I exclaimed drawing attention from the other diners who were unaware of my predicament. Glad that I didn’t have to invoke the 5 second rule and further embarrass myself by scampering around on the floor trying to recover my wayward nugget of Scampi, I set about slowly and surely pressing my fork into the remaining Scampi with all my skill and concentration trying to avoid a replay.

I’m pleased to say that I successfully secured and then ate the final piece, but have to admit that even now, a full two days after my loss, I still have some feelings of pain and sadness that I’m finding difficult to deal with.

I suppose the moral from this story (if there is one) is never take your scampi forking skills for granted and always ensure you have the correct angle of attack and pressure as needed when trying to fork your scampi pieces, so your scampi eating occurs without incident.

Now here’s a first for Scampi and Chips – A guest review of Scampi and Chips on Scampiandchips.co.uk, so everyone say hello to the first Scampi and Chips guest reviewer, Daniel – “Hi Danny!”

I ‘m lucky to work with Danny and I’ve got to say that wow, he really is a great guy.  Every morning when my alarm goes off I jump out of bed so I can be ready as soon as possible and at work to spend as much time in his presence as possible.  He really is that nice.

The only possible downside is that Daniel is somewhat overly fond of salad and at a recent visit to the local Pizzahut for the “Eat as much as you like” lunchtime buffet, he did make the schoolboy error of filling up on salad rather than just pizza, so points have got to be deducted.

Anyway, on with Danni’s review…Although at this time I’d just like to state that the opinions expressed by Danni are not necessarily shared by Scampi and Chips…

I’d always been scared to descend on a pub in a hick town in some corner of Yorkshire. I think Elland qualifies as one of those ‘hick towns’, it has its fair share of Cletuses (or is the plural Cleti?).
Anyway, I’ve been meaning to do this review for weeks ever since I arrived in Elland from the bright lights of Leeds. Scampi is very different in The Big City – they’re tiny little baby shrimp that barely fill a quarter of a plate – you usually only get 5 or 6 – and I’m not sure its seafood – maybe just a seafood-flavoured substitute.

Daniel was suprised by the sheer volume of Scampi

Imagine my surprise when I was presented with a plate (amazingly in the shape of a dish) that was filled with 13 individual scampi! 13! I even stopped to ask the barmaid whether I had accidently ordered 2 portions… The chips were also made of potato rather than fried oil – excellent!

I didn’t think they had food in part of Yorkshire, let alone scampi – I’ll definitely be coming back if they’re always this good!

5/5

Well Daniel, we’re glad you enjoyed your Scampi and Chips and would welcome any further reviews of Scampi and Chips at other eateries you may want to proffer.

I know this is not in any way scampi or chip related, well perhaps a little bit chip related as mash and chips come from a potato. The title says it all.  Sausage and mash back on at the Caddy Shack lunchtime menu.

Hmmm

Picture of a can of Processed peas

I remember Processed Peas.

As a kid, we’d have them all the time.  Well maybe not all the time but quite frequently, e.g. we didn’t have them with every meal, but maybe every 3 out of 4.

Processed or Marrowfat peas out of a tin.  Now, I haven’t had any of these for at least 20 years and whilst at Sainsburys the other day I spotted a tin and thought “Ohh I wonder if they really taste as nice as I remember…” as you do with things from your childhood.  So I bought a small can…

Before we continue, I just need to get a thing or two straight with regard to this particular type of pea and that is, these are not the same as Mushy Peas.  John,  yes, this is aimed at you John -  Mushy Peas are more mushy.

If you also have ginger hair, please this wikipedia acticle might help…

Anyway, back from Sainsburys, the peas went in the cupboard and were forgotten about until the other night when Mrs Scampi and chips decided we were having home made battered fish and chips.  I thought to myself “Hmmmm, other than Scampi and Chips, is there a better meal to have proccessed peas with?”

So that’s what I did, I had processed peas with fish and chips and they were great.  Hmmm yum yum.

Hmmm yum yum

Time for some extreme close up action:

Processed Peas, yum yum

I’m feeling hungry even looking at them.

The peas were great and full of a pea-like flavour as well as having a hint of mintifeshness (if that’s not a word it should be).  An added bonus that I’d forgotten about was the pea style gravy that they come in which was great with the fish and chips.

I’ll definitely be having some more of these green wonders soon and I can recommend them to any pea lovers out there.

Processed Peas Scampi and Chips Official Rating: 4.6 out of 5

Here at Scampi Towers, we’d heard various rumours regarding “Scampi Kievs” and were unsure what to believe and were perhaps a little frightened…

Scampi…and Garlic…Together…OMG!!!  ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Was it really true that some mad crazy scientist / chef had taken the Chicken Kiev idea and mutated it into what some people were reporting as “Scampi Kievs”?

Well as it turns out, it was:

After calming down, I managed to get them on an oven tray and do a Scampi count – 15 if I’m being really generous although if truth be known it’s actually 14 and a Scampi bleg.

Here we go with an extreme close up of the frozen and still uncooked Scampi Kiev…Hmmm crunchy.  I don’t know about you, but I love these close up photos where the immediate foreground is in sharp focus and the background is slighlty blurred or out of focus – It’s so arty…

In the oven for about 15-20 mins and this is what they look like – All golden brown and crunchy apart from what was originally identified as a “bleg” which is now a dishevelled and dried up bleg, even though we included it in the Scampi count.

Anyway, back to the serving image and here we are…This time we’d thought we’d go with the Mushy Peas and home-made oven chips so you’d have a chance to compare against the last time we posted a review…

And again, here is the extreme close up with the foreground in sharp focus and the background slightly blurred / out of focus.  If I didn’t run a Scampi and Chips related site I’d bet you would all think I was some sort of photo specialist / pro.  Which I’m not although some of my Scampi photos are quite good.

So what about the eating? Was Scampi Kiev any good? Well, it was, but it wasn’t fantastic or revolutionary or new or massively different.  It tasted just like Scampi in Garlic, so if you like Scampi and Garlic and can cope with a lower Scampi count, you’ll enjoy Scampi Kiev.

However, if you don’t like Scampi or Garlic then a) You shouldn’t be on this site and b) Scampi Kievs are not the right Scampi based product for you…

Scampi and Chips Official Rating: 4 out of 5

I use Firefox for browsing and have done for a long time, so I also use the built in search bar in the top right and every time I type “scampi”, it suggests “scampi sauce” as the 1st choice – or has done recently anyway.

Scampi Sauce in a jar!

Having just done a quick “straw poll” on all present (me), which is obviously representational of the UK population, I can safely say that all Brits haven’t heard of “scampi sauce”, so I thought I’d waste a bit of time and see exactly what is scampi sauce, but one of the 1st links I followed took me to a site that had some banners urging me to click them to find out about “The secret diet that Mom who lost 44lbs in 2months with $10“.

Obviously American and grammatically incorrect – and that’s ignoring the “mom” misspelling of the word “mum”.

What she/they should have said was “The Secret Diet of a Mum who lost 44lbs in 2months after spending only $10″.  I’ve highlighted the bits that need correcting, so our US readers can quickly spot the err of their ways and therefore make a bit of effort in at least trying to speak the language as it should be.

You see, I can understand, forgive and be grateful of the Germans and their “Zee” instead of the”The” such as “For you my Britisssher friend Zee var is over”, because without the comedic German/English accents where would we be?  If in 1939 Adolf Hitler(who incidentally loved Scampi) had had a proper English accent, things would have been different…

Scampi was a favourite of Hitler

“I say my good man Adolf, you seem to be somewhat invading all of Europe”

“Really?  My word, I’m so sorry chaps, I seem to have gotten carried away after Austria!  Imagine that! I’m terribly sorry!”

“Haha, Adolf you are a one what what! Have fun invading the bally rest of them and give them all one from us, especially the bally Frenchies – tally ho!”

“Will do, what what!  and…Toodle-pip!”

But back to Americans.  Although they haven’t as yet tried to wipe out any ethnicities (other than Red Indians), they have actually BUTCHERED the English language.  Color instead or Colour, Z instead of S – It’s just rubbish.

Come on now Yank types, if you’re going to speak English, then at least speak English.  Don’t try and change it into Americanish!

Anyway, back to the “Secret Mom”.  After reading Kelly’s story, it seems that she wants to sell you something – No way!  Apparently, she owes all of her weight loss to Oprah and a chap called Dr Oz and some berries.  Which is nice.

She only charges you $10 or £7.00-ish to send you some FREE(!) info on HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT, easily, quickly and for ever!

Let me give you a tip if you want loose weight that is going to blow you all away!!!! When you read this you really will see how my fat-loss program will show you how to be the real slimmer you!

Are you ready for this?

Some of you fatties will be hungry now...

Eat less pie and cake.

Anyway, going back to Scampi Sauce, well it turns out it is pretty much anything you want it to be.  Garlic based, tomato based, worcestershire sauce based, wine, mustard etc etc.  The list just goes on and on.

Basically, Scampi Sauce seems to be a non-standardized sauce, which as long as it is in some way “saucey” and served with Scampi can be called Scampi Sauce.

Now I don’t know about you, but I find that most distressing…

Post Script:  I was just reading this and decided to click through to the fat yank getting thin hoohar and I’d actually like to know if anyone can spot the difference (apart from colours)?

Scampi and chips gets all 21st century with the latest Scampi and Chips news from around the world.  Actually, if the truth be known, I thought I’d arse about with a camera and do a review of Sainsburys’ Scampi…Isn’t Youtube great?

I won’t tell you any more other than the official score otherwise you might not be tempted to watch it…

Sainsburys Scampi Official Score: 3.5 / 5 which sounds better than it actually was.

All I can say is that a scampi count of 22 is poor and that’s being generous and including what some might say are “blegs” of scampi ratter than full scampi pieces.
I think it’s fair to say after both Stan’s and my experience of supermarket own brand scampi, it’s probably better to go for the fully retail branded original manufacturer’s scampi.

Watch the vid and see if you agree or not. Although if I’m honest, it won’t make a blind bit of difference as I’ll just delete your comment…

One of our loyal readers Alan Allen who works for HBOS has sent us this picture of their canteen’s version of our favourite dish – Scampi and Curly Chips!

Scampi with Curly Chips or "Fries" as they are known...

Scampi and curly chips served in a polystyrene box with what I think is supposed to be Tartar sauce.  Now I know Tartar sauce looks a tad suspicious at the best of times, but that just looks like sick.  Sorry, but there’s no nice way to put it…And curly fries too – what’s that supposed to be about in a work’s canteen?

some lady called Maureen wearing a hairnet

Curly fries are all well and good in a posh Gastro Pub type establishment run by one of these TV chefs, but not in a canteen, cooked and served by some lady called Maureen wearing a hairnet – It’s just plain wrong.

Now, to the most important part of any SAC meal, the Scampi count. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can only count 8 pieces of Scampi, which by anyone’s reckoning is a low yield.

I didn’t eat it, Alan Allen did, so I can’t tell you how good/bad it was, but for me there are just too many negatives involved so it has to be a low score I’m afraid…

HBOS Scampi and Curly Chips Official Score – 1.2 / 5

Whilst writing this review, it appeared to me that there is one important point I think some of our Business Leaders can learn from.  If you don’t want your bank/business to lose all it’s value overnight, don’t go light weight on the Scampi Count.

I can’t say too much about this now (or even “spill the beans”), as some one’s job might or might not be in jeopardy, but as soon as I have the info and the full story and pics from inside one of the UK’s biggest organisations, you can be sure SAC will be the first to know…

YES! BEANS!

Let me tell you something.  I hate peas.  I wouldn’t go as far as to say that they’re evil, but by god – they’re no friend of mine.

Except mushy peas.  I quite like those, you know, with a bit of mint sauce.  But apart from that – Peas are bad.

There is no single dish in the entire existence of food history where the lazy inclusion of peas could not be discarded in favour of  baked beans.

Fact.

Period.

If you disagree, feel free to use the comment function to voice your opinion….

I WILL FEEL FREE TO DELETE IT.

But let’s not fight about it.  Whilst Peas might cling to your plate in a pathetically parasitic fashion, Beans can only serve to drape picturesquely over your plate in the loving expectation that you will embrace them….

So, in a maverick twist on the popular Scampi and Chips (served with peas), please let me introduce to you….

SCAMPI, CHIPS AND BAKED BEANS

Let’s be honest.  It’s not a difficult adaptation to comprehend:

You can argue that the lighting lets me down. But I DEFY you to argue with the ingredients.

So, let’s carry on.  Make some lovely chips:

Then let the Scampi in on the party:

When the Scampi is ready, simply add the Chips and Beans to the plate….

As they say on the internet….

OMG!

Scampi and Chips…and…BEANS official Score: 4.75/5

Reader’s note:

1. Some of the chips are not undercooked.  That is the lighting.
2. Disregard the milk carton.  It has no signifacance
3. There are at least 20 pieces of Scampi there…