Scampi and Chips

Here at Scampi Towers, we’d heard various rumours regarding “Scampi Kievs” and were unsure what to believe and were perhaps a little frightened…

Scampi…and Garlic…Together…OMG!!!  ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Was it really true that some mad crazy scientist / chef had taken the Chicken Kiev idea and mutated it into what some people were reporting as “Scampi Kievs”?

Well as it turns out, it was:

After calming down, I managed to get them on an oven tray and do a Scampi count – 15 if I’m being really generous although if truth be known it’s actually 14 and a Scampi bleg.

Here we go with an extreme close up of the frozen and still uncooked Scampi Kiev…Hmmm crunchy.  I don’t know about you, but I love these close up photos where the immediate foreground is in sharp focus and the background is slighlty blurred or out of focus – It’s so arty…

In the oven for about 15-20 mins and this is what they look like – All golden brown and crunchy apart from what was originally identified as a “bleg” which is now a dishevelled and dried up bleg, even though we included it in the Scampi count.

Anyway, back to the serving image and here we are…This time we’d thought we’d go with the Mushy Peas and home-made oven chips so you’d have a chance to compare against the last time we posted a review…

And again, here is the extreme close up with the foreground in sharp focus and the background slightly blurred / out of focus.  If I didn’t run a Scampi and Chips related site I’d bet you would all think I was some sort of photo specialist / pro.  Which I’m not although some of my Scampi photos are quite good.

So what about the eating? Was Scampi Kiev any good? Well, it was, but it wasn’t fantastic or revolutionary or new or massively different.  It tasted just like Scampi in Garlic, so if you like Scampi and Garlic and can cope with a lower Scampi count, you’ll enjoy Scampi Kiev.

However, if you don’t like Scampi or Garlic then a) You shouldn’t be on this site and b) Scampi Kievs are not the right Scampi based product for you…

Scampi and Chips Official Rating: 4 out of 5

I use Firefox for browsing and have done for a long time, so I also use the built in search bar in the top right and every time I type “scampi”, it suggests “scampi sauce” as the 1st choice – or has done recently anyway.

Scampi Sauce in a jar!

Having just done a quick “straw poll” on all present (me), which is obviously representational of the UK population, I can safely say that all Brits haven’t heard of “scampi sauce”, so I thought I’d waste a bit of time and see exactly what is scampi sauce, but one of the 1st links I followed took me to a site that had some banners urging me to click them to find out about “The secret diet that Mom who lost 44lbs in 2months with $10“.

Obviously American and grammatically incorrect – and that’s ignoring the “mom” misspelling of the word “mum”.

What she/they should have said was “The Secret Diet of a Mum who lost 44lbs in 2months after spending only $10″.  I’ve highlighted the bits that need correcting, so our US readers can quickly spot the err of their ways and therefore make a bit of effort in at least trying to speak the language as it should be.

You see, I can understand, forgive and be grateful of the Germans and their “Zee” instead of the”The” such as “For you my Britisssher friend Zee var is over”, because without the comedic German/English accents where would we be?  If in 1939 Adolf Hitler(who incidentally loved Scampi) had had a proper English accent, things would have been different…

Scampi was a favourite of Hitler

“I say my good man Adolf, you seem to be somewhat invading all of Europe”

“Really?  My word, I’m so sorry chaps, I seem to have gotten carried away after Austria!  Imagine that! I’m terribly sorry!”

“Haha, Adolf you are a one what what! Have fun invading the bally rest of them and give them all one from us, especially the bally Frenchies – tally ho!”

“Will do, what what!  and…Toodle-pip!”

But back to Americans.  Although they haven’t as yet tried to wipe out any ethnicities (other than Red Indians), they have actually BUTCHERED the English language.  Color instead or Colour, Z instead of S – It’s just rubbish.

Come on now Yank types, if you’re going to speak English, then at least speak English.  Don’t try and change it into Americanish!

Anyway, back to the “Secret Mom”.  After reading Kelly’s story, it seems that she wants to sell you something – No way!  Apparently, she owes all of her weight loss to Oprah and a chap called Dr Oz and some berries.  Which is nice.

She only charges you $10 or £7.00-ish to send you some FREE(!) info on HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT, easily, quickly and for ever!

Let me give you a tip if you want loose weight that is going to blow you all away!!!! When you read this you really will see how my fat-loss program will show you how to be the real slimmer you!

Are you ready for this?

Some of you fatties will be hungry now...

Eat less pie and cake.

Anyway, going back to Scampi Sauce, well it turns out it is pretty much anything you want it to be.  Garlic based, tomato based, worcestershire sauce based, wine, mustard etc etc.  The list just goes on and on.

Basically, Scampi Sauce seems to be a non-standardized sauce, which as long as it is in some way “saucey” and served with Scampi can be called Scampi Sauce.

Now I don’t know about you, but I find that most distressing…

Post Script:  I was just reading this and decided to click through to the fat yank getting thin hoohar and I’d actually like to know if anyone can spot the difference (apart from colours)?

Scampi and chips gets all 21st century with the latest Scampi and Chips news from around the world.  Actually, if the truth be known, I thought I’d arse about with a camera and do a review of Sainsburys’ Scampi…Isn’t Youtube great?

I won’t tell you any more other than the official score otherwise you might not be tempted to watch it…

Sainsburys Scampi Official Score: 3.5 / 5 which sounds better than it actually was.

All I can say is that a scampi count of 22 is poor and that’s being generous and including what some might say are “blegs” of scampi ratter than full scampi pieces.
I think it’s fair to say after both Stan’s and my experience of supermarket own brand scampi, it’s probably better to go for the fully retail branded original manufacturer’s scampi.

Watch the vid and see if you agree or not. Although if I’m honest, it won’t make a blind bit of difference as I’ll just delete your comment…

One of our loyal readers Alan Allen who works for HBOS has sent us this picture of their canteen’s version of our favourite dish – Scampi and Curly Chips!

Scampi with Curly Chips or "Fries" as they are known...

Scampi and curly chips served in a polystyrene box with what I think is supposed to be Tartar sauce.  Now I know Tartar sauce looks a tad suspicious at the best of times, but that just looks like sick.  Sorry, but there’s no nice way to put it…And curly fries too – what’s that supposed to be about in a work’s canteen?

some lady called Maureen wearing a hairnet

Curly fries are all well and good in a posh Gastro Pub type establishment run by one of these TV chefs, but not in a canteen, cooked and served by some lady called Maureen wearing a hairnet – It’s just plain wrong.

Now, to the most important part of any SAC meal, the Scampi count. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can only count 8 pieces of Scampi, which by anyone’s reckoning is a low yield.

I didn’t eat it, Alan Allen did, so I can’t tell you how good/bad it was, but for me there are just too many negatives involved so it has to be a low score I’m afraid…

HBOS Scampi and Curly Chips Official Score – 1.2 / 5

Whilst writing this review, it appeared to me that there is one important point I think some of our Business Leaders can learn from.  If you don’t want your bank/business to lose all it’s value overnight, don’t go light weight on the Scampi Count.

I can’t say too much about this now (or even “spill the beans”), as some one’s job might or might not be in jeopardy, but as soon as I have the info and the full story and pics from inside one of the UK’s biggest organisations, you can be sure SAC will be the first to know…

YES! BEANS!

Let me tell you something.  I hate peas.  I wouldn’t go as far as to say that they’re evil, but by god – they’re no friend of mine.

Except mushy peas.  I quite like those, you know, with a bit of mint sauce.  But apart from that – Peas are bad.

There is no single dish in the entire existence of food history where the lazy inclusion of peas could not be discarded in favour of  baked beans.

Fact.

Period.

If you disagree, feel free to use the comment function to voice your opinion….

I WILL FEEL FREE TO DELETE IT.

But let’s not fight about it.  Whilst Peas might cling to your plate in a pathetically parasitic fashion, Beans can only serve to drape picturesquely over your plate in the loving expectation that you will embrace them….

So, in a maverick twist on the popular Scampi and Chips (served with peas), please let me introduce to you….

SCAMPI, CHIPS AND BAKED BEANS

Let’s be honest.  It’s not a difficult adaptation to comprehend:

You can argue that the lighting lets me down. But I DEFY you to argue with the ingredients.

So, let’s carry on.  Make some lovely chips:

Then let the Scampi in on the party:

When the Scampi is ready, simply add the Chips and Beans to the plate….

As they say on the internet….

OMG!

Scampi and Chips…and…BEANS official Score: 4.75/5

Reader’s note:

1. Some of the chips are not undercooked.  That is the lighting.
2. Disregard the milk carton.  It has no signifacance
3. There are at least 20 pieces of Scampi there…
   

Well well well.

Many weeks after I visited the Caddyshack, along with David, to check out their Scampi and Chips – here, at last, is my official review of the experience.

The experience was described briefly by David earlier.

Unfortunately, I’m not yet savvy in the skill of embelishing my posts with links etc, but i’m sure that can be remedied later. In the meantime, please scroll down to read David’s brief review.

So there we were, 1pm on a Friday afternoon.  With both of us having acquired the privilege of not having to be in the office, what better way to occupy our free time than a few pints in The Caddyshack accompianied by Ryder Cup Golf on the TV and Scampi and Chips to boot.

Things were looking rosy.

No, not ‘Rosie’ in that sense but, still…. things were good.

After a couple of beers, we decided the time was right.

So i approached the bar to order another glass, and 2 portions of Elland’s finest Scampi and Chips…… only to be derided by the barmaid because Scampi and Chips  “…isn’t on the Lunch Menu, it’s on the Tea Menu.  It’s not Tea Time yet!”

It would be impossible to describe the look on her face as she came to terms with my disregard for the menu structure, so I am not going to attempt it.  Let’s just say she looked confused.

Some people, understandably, would have accepted defeat and moved on.  But not me.

After a simple assertion that we were only here for the Scampi and Chips, the barmaid conceded that it was the chef’s decision.

And what do you know….?

KAPOW!!!

15 minutes later and we were served with an amazing plate of Scampi and Chips.  Unfortunately it is served with peas but, given that I don’t really care for peas and David is not a chip lover, we should really have been able to work around that.

However, there was no pea/chip swapping and we, contentedly, attacked our plates with vigour – please note David is a slow eater so my ‘attack’ was slightly more ‘vigorous’, but that is of little significance. tbf.

Of course, we did the obligatory ‘Scampi Count’ and on first impressions, it did appear that David had, in fact, received one extra piece.  I was inclined to argue that i had received one less piece until…

YES!  IT’S A DOUBLE HEADER! HARMONY IS RESTORED!

I saved that piece until last, in awe of its beauty:

What can i say?

Life changing.

Scampi and Chips @ The Caddyshack Official Score: 4.5/5 (or 9/10)

Lovely dominos pizza

Not exactly Scampi or Chip related, but on Sunday night after our weekly game of golf, I decided to have a Dominos Pizza for my tea.

Not sure as to what I fancied, I thought I’d try a half and half large pizza, but then that just made the decision making twice as hard as I now had to pick two toppings!

Hot and Spicy Pizza - Hmmm

Mmmmeteor?

After a bit of a think, I decided I’d go for Hot and Spicy on one half and as Stan always goes on about how good it is, Meteor on the other half.  Not being content with Dominos’ standard toppings, I always add something extra just to make it that bit different, so I added Pepperoni on the Hot and Spicy half and Chillies on the Meteor.

After completing the order online(how cool is that), the pizza was delivered about 30mins later:

Hot and Spicy half with Pepperoni - “Onions, ground beef, green peppers, jalapeno peppers.”
Not quite spicy enough for me, but very tasty.  Great amounts of toppings although I did feel I didn’t get enough extra pepperoni, some of which was burnt and crispy around the edges  – 8/10

Meteor half with chillies – “Five delicious meat toppings including: Pepperoni, Sausage, Meatballs, Ground Beef and Smoky Bacon, together with our tangy BBQ Sauce and Mozzarella Cheese, all on our classic fresh-dough base.”
Pretty much a massive meat count that even the most fervent meat lover would be happy with.  The meatballs are great, but BBQ sauce too sweet for my liking.  Again, didn’t feel as though I got VFM with the extra chillies I added, but I did think I might suffer a small cardiac incident after eating all that meat – 6/10

Not too disastrous, but I feel there is a better combination possible.

Stan and I decided to have our 1st Scampi and Chips session at the veritable Caddyshack in Elland and what a result it was.  Both of us had an extremely high Scampi count – 15 for me and initially 14 for Stan although he had a suprise coming.

Full review with pictures coming soon…

i’m currently making this

it’s going to be good

i’ve taken some pictures and they’ll be on here later